{"id":2791,"date":"2017-01-10T19:49:28","date_gmt":"2017-01-10T19:49:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/iphc.org\/discipleship\/?p=2791"},"modified":"2017-01-11T15:06:59","modified_gmt":"2017-01-11T15:06:59","slug":"not-called-norm","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/iphc.org\/discipleship\/2017\/01\/10\/not-called-norm\/","title":{"rendered":"Not Called to the Norm"},"content":{"rendered":"

I was sitting at my desk this morning doing my usual work when I heard the beep of our office door open. I look up to see my husband standing at my window holding a cup of my favorite coffee. I know this seems very small, but to me it was absolutely precious. It was a small, spontaneous gesture of love. I know many may think that I talk a lot about how great my husband is, how great our marriage is, and how great our life together is. Please know, it’s never to boast. My goal is to encourage those around us that being a newlywed can be and is<\/em> wonderful. Sadly, that was not what we were told when we were getting ready to be married. Let me explain.<\/p>\n

When Josh and I got engaged, we had numerous people congratulate us and tell us how excited they were for the both of us. Soon after, however, the comments began: “Just wait till you live together”, “It won’t take you long to drive each other nuts,” and “You guys will be fine after you get the first year over with.” We heard so many negative comments about the first season of marriage. \u00a0 I’m not saying everything has been picture perfect for Josh and I because it has not. [We actually got in a fight as soon as we landed in Mexico on our honeymoon! We laugh about it now because it’s actually hilarious.] But something that we did not hear a lot of was encouraging words about our first few months and first year of marriage. We heard more about how hard it would be, how much we would struggle, and how we would have to really LOVE each other because it would be hard. I’m here to challenge those mindsets. I’m here to encourage those who are recently engaged, married and even those who have even been married for years: marriage is awesome. Not only do we get a life-partner, but we get to show the world the beautiful picture of how Christ loves His church. Most of us know even THAT relationship is not always perfect. Likewise, your marriage will never be perfect. [We are human.] However, I want to encourage you that your marriage can be great. It can be filled with love, peace, mercy, joy, and selflessness. This world tells us that our first year of marriage is going to be hard and terrible and we’re going to want to hurt each other. [At least that’s what Josh and I heard.] But as a Christ follower, I’m not called to accept what the culture tells me is the norm. Josh and I decided, before we even said “I do,” that our first year would be a great year and every year following would only get better. That’s not to say that things won’t happen, life won’t get hard, or that we won’t struggle. However, it does mean we are choosing to respond to whatever life throws our way positively<\/em>. We are choosing to be proactive rather than reactive. We are choosing to make our own standards rather than settling for what the culture tells us is “normal”. #confessionsofayoungwife<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

About the Writer<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"ashley-hafner\"<\/a>
\nAshlee Hafner holds a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Emmanuel College. After graduating in 2015, Ashlee worked as the Marketing Director at Falcon Children\u2019s Home in Falcon, NC where she was able to find a passion in raising awareness for such an amazing IPHC organization. In August of 2016, she married her college sweetheart, Joshua Hafner. Shortly after their wedding, they returned to Franklin Springs, GA when Joshua was hired as an Admissions Recruiter for Emmanuel College. She is currently working at Wellsprings Psychological Resources in Franklin Springs, GA as well as Cornerstone Church in Athens, GA. Ashlee and Joshua are ecstatic to have been given the opportunity to return to a place that not only helped them find each other but helped them refocus and target their purpose in life.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"excerpt","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":2792,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","filesize_raw":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[561,562,54,563,566,567,568],"class_list":{"0":"post-2791","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-general","8":"tag-ashlee","9":"tag-bell","10":"tag-emmanuel-college","11":"tag-hafner","12":"tag-marriage","13":"tag-spouse","14":"tag-wedding","15":"entry"},"title_es":"No se llama a la Norma","content_es":"Yo estaba sentado en mi escritorio esta ma\u00f1ana haciendo mi trabajo habitual cuando o\u00ed el sonido de la puerta de la oficina abierta. Miro hacia arriba para ver a mi marido de pie en mi ventana con una taza de mi caf\u00e9 favorito. S\u00e9 que esto parece muy peque\u00f1o, pero para m\u00ed fue absolutamente precioso. Fue un peque\u00f1o gesto, espont\u00e1nea del amor. S\u00e9 que muchos pueden pensar que hablo mucho acerca de cu\u00e1n grande es mi marido, cu\u00e1n grande es nuestro matrimonio, y cu\u00e1n grande es nuestra vida en com\u00fan. Por favor, sepa, nunca es para presumir. Mi objetivo es alentar a los que nos rodean que ser un reci\u00e9n casado puede ser y es<\/em> maravilloso. Por desgracia, eso no fue lo que nos dijeron cuando est\u00e1bamos a punto de casarse. Dejame explicar. Cuando Josh y yo nos comprometimos, hemos tenido numerosas personas que nos felicitan y nos dicen lo emocionados que estaban para los dos de nosotros. Poco despu\u00e9s, sin embargo, los comentarios empezaron: \"S\u00f3lo tiene que esperar hasta que vivir juntos\", \"No le tomar\u00e1 mucho tiempo para conducir el uno al otro loco\" y \"Ustedes van a estar bien despu\u00e9s de recibir el primer a\u00f1o de una vez.\" Hemos escuchado tantos comentarios negativos sobre la primera estaci\u00f3n del matrimonio. No estoy diciendo que todo ha sido perfecto de imagen para Josh y yo, ya que no tiene. [En realidad nos dieron en una pelea tan pronto como aterrizamos en M\u00e9xico de luna de miel! Nos re\u00edmos de ello ahora, porque en realidad es hilarante.] Sin embargo, algo que no habla mucho de alentador palabras acerca de nuestros primeros meses y el primer a\u00f1o de matrimonio. Hemos escuchado m\u00e1s de lo dif\u00edcil que ser\u00eda, de lo mucho que ser\u00eda muy dif\u00edcil, y c\u00f3mo tendr\u00edamos que realmente el amor unos a otros, ya que ser\u00eda dif\u00edcil. Estoy aqu\u00ed para desafiar a esos modos de pensar. Estoy aqu\u00ed para animar a los que est\u00e1n recientemente enganchado, casado e incluso aquellos que ni siquiera han estado casados durante a\u00f1os: el matrimonio es impresionante. No s\u00f3lo tenemos una vida de pareja, pero se llega a mostrar al mundo la hermosa imagen de c\u00f3mo Cristo ama a su iglesia. La mayor\u00eda de nosotros sabemos, incluso esa relaci\u00f3n no siempre es perfecto. Del mismo modo, su matrimonio nunca ser\u00e1 perfecto. [Somos humanos.] Sin embargo, quiero animar a que su matrimonio puede ser grande. Puede ser llenado con el amor, la paz, la misericordia, la alegr\u00eda, y el desinter\u00e9s. Este mundo nos dice que nuestro primer a\u00f1o de matrimonio va a ser dura y terrible y vamos a querer hacer da\u00f1o a los dem\u00e1s. [Por lo menos eso es lo que escucharon Josh y yo.] Pero como seguidor de Cristo, no estoy llamado a aceptar lo que la cultura me dice que es la norma. Josh y yo decidimos, antes de que lleg\u00f3 a decir \"yo\", que nuestro primer a\u00f1o ser\u00eda un gran a\u00f1o y todos los a\u00f1os siguientes s\u00f3lo se conseguir\u00eda mejor. Eso no quiere decir que las cosas no van a ocurrir, la vida no va a tener una erecci\u00f3n, o que no tendr\u00e1n problemas. Sin embargo, s\u00ed significa que estamos eligiendo para responder a lo que la vida lanza nuestra manera positiva.<\/em> Estamos eligiendo a ser proactivo en lugar de reactivo. Estamos eligiendo a tomar nuestras propias normas en lugar de conformarse con lo que la cultura nos dice que es \"normal\". #confessionsofayoungwife sobre el escritor<\/strong> \"Ashley-Hafner\"<\/a> Ashlee Hafner tiene una licenciatura en psicolog\u00eda de la universidad de Manuel. Despu\u00e9s de graduarse en 2015, Ashlee trabaj\u00f3 como Director de Marketing en el hogar de ni\u00f1os en Falcon Falcon, Carolina del Norte, donde fue capaz de encontrar una pasi\u00f3n en la sensibilizaci\u00f3n para una organizaci\u00f3n tan incre\u00edble IISP. En agosto de 2016, se cas\u00f3 con su novia de la universidad, Joshua Hafner. Poco despu\u00e9s de su boda, volvieron a Franklin Springs, GA cuando Josu\u00e9 fue contratado como un reclutador de admisi\u00f3n para la universidad de Manuel. En la actualidad trabaja en recursos psicol\u00f3gicos manantiales en Franklin Springs, GA, as\u00ed como Iglesia Cornerstone en Atenas, GA. Ashlee y Joshua est\u00e1n encantados de haber tenido la oportunidad de volver a un lugar que no s\u00f3lo les ayud\u00f3 a encontrarse unos a otros, pero les ayud\u00f3 a reorientar y se dirigen a su prop\u00f3sito en la vida.","author_name":"","jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/iphc.org\/discipleship\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2017\/01\/Not-Called-to-the-Norm.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4T9u2-J1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/iphc.org\/discipleship\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2791","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/iphc.org\/discipleship\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/iphc.org\/discipleship\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iphc.org\/discipleship\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/19"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iphc.org\/discipleship\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2791"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/iphc.org\/discipleship\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2791\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iphc.org\/discipleship\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2792"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/iphc.org\/discipleship\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2791"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iphc.org\/discipleship\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2791"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iphc.org\/discipleship\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2791"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}